Dear Overwhelmed Mom

Motherhood makes us happy, but it also makes us dazed and frazzled sometimes!

JING SAYS...

It started with a serendipitous encounter in a restaurant of all places. A friend and I were attending the launch of a new line of mommy products. When I asked her how she was, she just started tearing up. She was trying hard to fight back the tears but she just couldn't help it. She cried out, "It's just so overwhelming!" 

My heart went out to her. I wanted to give her a tight big hug right there and then, but at that very moment, a photographer came to take our picture. It's like one of those scenes you'd expect in a movie but actually really happens in real life. 

I would since encounter equally frazzled moms from then on: a mom who got sick herself after taking care of her sick babies, a mom who had to miss our date because her child came down with a tummy situation, and my own daughter who was going on less than four hours of sleep because apart from her day job, she was also running her own retail business and trying to keep up with her active daughter besides. At one point, she just came to my room and asked for a hug.

I feel you, overwhelmed mommy!

Having raised four children of my own, I know exactly what you're going through. Every day is a struggle... to get them to eat, to get them to sleep, to get them to play nicely, to get them to listen to you, to get them to drink their medicine, to get them to stop fighting, to get them to stop climbing all over the furniture. And this is just when they're still cute, adorable toddlers! The game changes when they start going to school, grow up and become teenagers! Ayayay!! 

I assure my friends that yes, of course, it will get better. What I have not been telling them is that it would not get any better any sooner, and it would not get any better because suddenly your child will just wake up on his own, will feed himself without making a mess, and will listen to everything you say and act accordingly. That would be a miracle.

You will always be a mom. You will always be a plus one, a plus two, or in my case, a plus four or maybe five if you count my granddaughter! Mwahahaha! 

You will always be looking out for your child, whether he's six or 26 years old. And there will always be issues or concerns that need looking after. I'm 48, my youngest is 19, and my eldest 25, but I'm still on my toes. 

Things will only get better, my dear overwhelmed mom, if and when you decide to make things better for yourself. This I learned only after years and years of abusing myself. This I learned only after years of washing the dishes after I got home late from work because the assigned child didn't do it and I was afraid that our kitchen would be overrun by cockroaches if I don't wash the dishes. This I learned only after years of staying awake all night taking care of a sick child because it is I who had to take care of him because what kind of a mother would I be if I don't personally take care of my sick child?! You know what I'm talking about. You must have a dozen other variations of this. 

Babies would be babies. Kids would be kids. Teenagers would be teenagers. But it's only how you are as mom which you have the absolute power to change. So what if you don't wash the dishes or if your child gets a C in Science? It's not the end of the world... although sometimes we think that it is! Mwahahaha

Relax! Take a deep breath. Be kind to yourself. 

And whenever I find myself getting back to my I'm-treating-myself-like-shit persona, I turn to my favorite quote which I've pinned prominently atop my desk: Everything will be alright in the end. And if it's not alright, it's not the end. :)